Letter to God

Nothing is going right since the past few months..nothing
Today, i want to have a new start of my life. I want to be happy, i want to smile, i want to work hard and above all , i want peace of mind.
God please help me to achieve these goals.
help me to become a better person.
Help me to know the difference between right and wrong
Help me to know who cares for me and who doesn't
Help me to serve you, my family and all those around me who love me.

I want to become as i was two years ago.
Help me to regain my self confidence.
Help me to fight back
Help me God
I am leaving my life to you, as you are the best judge
God, please help me

Thanks God,
Mansi

kuch chahatein...

panchi mein hoon neel gagan ki,
udne do poore asamaan mein mujhe,
abhi chuni hai har boond badal ki,
kshitij tak pohuchne ka hai armaan mujhe.

mat bandho kisi dor se mujhko,
mat cheeno meri muskaan tum,
mat rakkho bandhishein mujhpar,
bharosa rakkho meri udaan par tum.

jeet kar aaungi,
udd kar gaungi,
phela phela kar apne pankh,
duniya par chaungi.

sang aa jaao mere,
abhi bohut door tak jana hai,
tez hawaoan ka samna karke,
lehrati fiza ko pana hai.

ek din thak jaungi,
udte udte gir jaungi,
tab tak mujhe meri manzil paane do
mujhe khud se kiya hua wada nibhana hai....

Haphazard lines...

Suraj jalta hai to dharti pe paani baras jaata hai,
sookhe jivan ko boondo ka sahara mil jaata hai.
Dil se nikalti hai jab aaah koi,
to dard aansu banke aksho se nikal aata hai.
ye aansu bhi kahi bikhar jaaye,
mere aanchal pe barish banke baras jaaye,
baahar ki duniya ke liye to inka koi mol nahi,
mere dil ki zameen ko bachpan sa nirmal kar jaaye....

Eternity

Woke up late today,why didn't my alarm bell ring on time? ohh, i had to take my medicines on time,mother would be so upset that i forgot to take them. She is working very hard to get me these expensive medicines.Something is looking changed today, don't know what, but there is some difference. Where is mom, where is everyone. Why didn't anybody wake me up on time??
Last night i slept a bit late. i had gone for my routine check up yesterday evening and the doctor said that i was recovering fast. he said i had shown an unexpected improvement within the past couple of days.Mom was very happy, she baked for me my favourite chocolate cake yesterday.Since the time my father has died in a road accident, mom has no aim in life but to fulfil all my desires. Unfortunately i was in the same car as my father, technically speaking i was alive as my heart and brain are functioning but i cannot do anything on my own. My condition was deteorating and doctors told that i had only some days to live, but since the past month i was showing improvement. Maybe that improvement was coming from within. I did not want to leave my mom alone in this big bad world. I am the only asset she has and i can see it in her eyes. I know she is broken from inside but pretends to be stong in front of this world. Somewhere within her, she knows that i would not survive for long.I love her so much,had it not been for her, i would have died much before. Her love keeps me going but my health is not supporting me. I know that after some time, i would not be here. Who would take care of my innocent mother,Who would she call her own, I know she wont be able to live without me. This thought is scaring me more!!
These were the routine thoughts which came to my mind every single day, but where is she right now.Wait a second, i can hear someone crying.Ohh, that is the sound of my mother. Where is she, why is she crying.I am feeling so helpless.I got up,to my biggest surprize, i got up without any pain!!! Am i recovering? The doctor yesterday said that i was showing drastic improvement.He was right,i can get up without any pain. This is awesome. I shall tell it to her as early as possible. She would be so happy!
I went to the drwaing room. "Why are so many people here!!" - was my first thought. Why is the atmosphere so gloomy. Why is my mother crying like hell, someone please go tell her that i m recovering so fast. I saw my doctor also there. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to inform everyone that i am fine, i can walk on my own. I am called my mom , i am shouting but why is nobody listening to me?? Why has everyone gone deaf??
Enough, i shall grab my mom hard and tell her to stop crying as i m fine now.
Briskly, i went to her, but my steps got slower and slower..... I saw someone lying on the floor. I saw a very familiar face there... IT WAS ME...it was me who was lying there unconscience. Everything seemed blurred.My mother was crying bitterly, she was holding my hand in hers. She was shattered, she was boken.
How desparatly i wanted to tell her that i am there, in the same room... close to her....but she could not see me....
First time was i feeling so helpless, so frustrated, so shattered. I could do nothing for her..nothing.... i even died while sleeping without informing her that how much i loved her, how thankful i am to her.
God please help my mother, give her the courage to face the truth, give her the patience to accept the fact that her family is not with her now...
I will be merged with eternity...I will merge with GOD, but please God, give my mother the courage to live...the courage to breathe..the courage to face life....

Fairy tales...

These fairy tales always take you to a different world. My childhood went by hearing stories of Cinderella, Rupalzel,Little Mermaid ( i still remember those story books with those colouful and attractive pictures).
These characters bought in a sense of purity, a feeling that goodness,innocence and simplicity always lead to a fairy taled ending. It was an imaginative world with larger than life picture of everything.
But the reality is very different from it. We have to strive every second, we have to fight with the world to prove out point.
Why do we have to justify everything. We are judged by so many people all the time, our actions are interpreted and conclusions drawn thereafter...
How i wish that my life has a Cinderella ending!